Prabhakar Pandit and Lateral Thinking

 

Photo credit - https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kVhfJv7kU8M/maxresdefault.jpg

Sharing a story about my inquiry into the science of Lateral Thinking. A journey of thirty years.

I remember Mr. Prabhakar Pandit even after so many years with gratitude and affection. 

I was a young officer in a bank then. Mr. Prabhakar Pandit was one of our customers. A middle aged man, he was a bit short tempered, just like any other extremely intelligent people. My colleagues were hesitant to serve him. Somehow Prabhakar took a fancy to me, maybe because I offered my time to listen to him, maybe because I gave him good service. Prabhakar was a multi-faceted person, a thinker and a student for life. He would speak to me on many topics whenever he visited us.

Once Prabhakar gifted me a newspaper article on Edward de Bono, the pioneer of Lateral Thinking. Prabhakar spoke to me about de Bono at length.

Now I had to do something about his gift. After I read through the article, I wrote to Edward thanking him. Those were the snail-mail days and my letter had to travel from Bombay to somewhere in Malta. I never got any reply from Edward (obviously I could not expect one; where will the global leaders find time for all this?). But Prabhakar was happy that I was progressing on his pet topic.

(Something about de Bono for the uninitiated - Edward de Bono is a physician, psychologist, and an author. Some of his famous books are the mechanism of the mind, New think, Six thinking hats etc. Edward proposed a theory that innovation is not the prerogative of a select few; anyone can train him/ her to think laterally. The word lateral thinking was coined by de Bono.)

Years went by. By then I had read quite a few books by de Bono and kept thanking Prabhakar. When the internet arrived on my desktop, the first thing I did was to look for Edward de Bono. 

Again I contacted him after fifteen years, this time by a faster mode, email. To my surprise, I received a response followed by a CD about a school programme called CoRT (Cognitive Research Trust). CoRT programme is about nurturing the practice of lateral thinking in schools. This has been rolled out in Venezuela and China (I am told that China has vowed to make every Chinese person a lateral thinker by 2020).

I continued holding Prabhakar’s gift in my heart. During my stay in the UK, I got to learn bits of lateral thinking from Peter, Edward’s brother.

We encouraged our colleagues to implement de Bono’s six hat thinking in our meetings (my colleague Rachna was a master in this); we started using some of the thinking techniques such as PMI (plus, minus and interesting) etc. in our decision-making activities; we started using some of his favourite terminologies such as valufacture (manufacture of value), Po (something between Yes and No) etc. in our conversation; we taught our R&D teams to practice lateral thinking every week as a thinking ritual… etc. etc. One of the stories I wrote a long time ago was titled ‘Valuefacture’. 

Will I continue with this journey started by Prabhakar? I surely will.

I doubt if Prabhakar ever thought that the small newspaper cutting he gave a young man would drive him to pursue the though for so long.

Thank you, Prabhakar, wherever you are. I still hold your gift close to my heart, a gift that you gave me some time in 1986.

xxx

Postscript:

Let me now write about Alfred Sisley (1839–1899), one of the important Impressionist painters. Sisley was English but was brought up in France. Sisley is recognized as the most consistent of the Impressionists, never deviating into figure painting.

Sisley's best-known works are Street in Moret and Sand Heaps.

(Impressionism is an art movement. It was started by painters to challenge the then existing style of painting. They redefined painting as an impression of one’s mind rather than what is seen by the eye. Whenever I write about the Impressionist painters, I think of innovation; I want to learn from their conviction to challenge the status quo.)

This painting, titled Fog, Voisins was painted in 1874.

Sisley painted this fog effect with a hint of a fence in the background, foliage on the left, a tree with twisted branches on the right. The protagonist of the painting is the silvery mist which blurs the shapes and the background into a bluish grey tone. A subtle harmony, a silent poem.

Article originally published on Linkedin on 23 July 2017.

The Art and Science of Happiness - Solved assignment - Week 12

Photo credit - Freepik

Tasks for the week (Wrap up)

• Open Topic Discussion (40 minutes)
• Individual Reflection (15 minutes)
• Group Sharing (20 minutes)
• Evaluations (30 minutes)

Task 1 - Open Topic Discussion (40 minutes)

(Invite students to propose topics or questions related to the course content, allowing them to share insights, reflections, or seek clarification, Encourage an open and collaborative discussion where students can draw connections between different concepts learned during the course, Facilitate the conversation, ensuring that multiple perspectives are considered)

Topic for discussion - How can we use metaphor in describing the art and science of happiness

1. Happiness as a Garden - Happiness is like a well-tended garden, requiring both artistry and scientific understanding. Just as an artist carefully selects and arranges flowers, the gardener cultivates positive emotions. The science lies in understanding the soil, sunlight, and water—equivalent to the psychological factors, cognitive patterns, and social connections that contribute to our well-being.

2. The Symphony of Well-being - Picture happiness as a symphony, where each instrument represents a different aspect of our lives. The artistry comes from orchestrating these elements harmoniously, while the science involves understanding the notes, rhythms, and dynamics. Happiness, like a beautiful symphony, requires balance, cooperation, and a skilled conductor—in this case, the individual's mindful choices and actions.

3. Happiness as a Puzzle - Consider the pursuit of happiness as solving an intricate puzzle. The art lies in choosing the right pieces—those experiences, relationships, and endeavors that resonate with our values. Meanwhile, science involves understanding the connections and patterns, arranging the pieces to create a meaningful picture. Just as assembling a puzzle brings satisfaction, so does piecing together the elements of happiness.

4. Navigating the Emotional Landscape - Imagine the landscape of emotions as a vast terrain, with happiness as the destination. The art involves navigating through valleys of challenges, peaks of joy, and rivers of resilience. The science comes in understanding the terrain—mapping emotional patterns, recognizing pitfalls, and forging pathways towards contentment. In this journey, emotional intelligence serves as the compass, guiding us toward the artful creation of a fulfilling life.

Task 2 - Individual Reflection (15 minutes)

What did I learn?

• Definitions - happiness, depression, optimism etc. 
• Some models such as Martin Seligman’s PERMA model, The ABCDE method for building optimism, Logotherapy, the concept of Flow etc
• Clarity about some terms such as Optimism vs Pessimism, Happiness vs Pleasure etc
• Questionnaires/ self assessment such as for level of happiness, level of optimism, signature strengths etc
• Reflective exercises such as ‘Who am I?”, Happiness in relationships etc
• Importance of Yoga, Meditation and Pranayama in happiness
• Got an insight into what po-psychology is and its impact

Some new things I tried during this course -

• Assessing the level of my well-being - I created my own scoring method using 9 types of well-being
• Assessing the level of my familiarity with the topic - I created a framework using the Dreyfus model and Seligman’s PERMA
• Used Six thinking hats to answer - Why am I taking up this course?
• I studied different religions, cultures, philosophers and psychologists to find definitions of happiness
• I studied how happiness is viewed under different types of governments (communist, fascist and democratic) and took help of the Lewis model to identify different cultures of the world to know their happiness levels

How will I apply these concepts in my life?

What I observed was - rather than taking up a project to pursue happiness, integrating happiness in day-to-day tasks could be less stressful - think of victory laps as a way of feeling happy after each success/ each completion of a task.

Based on the above, here’s the implementation plan - 

• List down my daily chores and calendarise them (set alarms for each hour to remind me of a task)
• Before I start each chore, I remind myself that this task is created by me to feel happy. This helps me love any/ every task (even the ones I did not like e.g. swiping the floor, watering the garden etc.)
• Define some ‘victory lap’ for each task (A "victory lap" is a term to describe a celebratory or triumphant action taken after achieving success)
• Complete the chores for the day, do the victory laps and record the number of victory laps done 
• This record becomes my measure of happiness

Task 3 - Group Sharing (20 minutes)

(Invite students to share their reflections in small groups or with the whole class, fostering a sense of community and shared learning. Encourage discussions on common themes, differences in perspectives, and how the course has influenced each individual)

Group sharing is not possible because I am doing this course alone. 

What I will do instead is attempt to answer the questions that I had raised during the study. I guess it will be like a sharing.

Week 2

What harm can pop-psychologists make to people and society?

Pop psychologists are those who provide oversimplified, sensationalized, or unverified psychological advice through popular media, self-help books, or online platforms. They may potentially cause harm to individuals and society in several ways. Some examples - 

• Distorted understanding of mental health and well-being
• They promote quick fixes or one-size-fits-all solutions to complex psychological problems. Human beings are complex and need individual treatment
• The intent of many pop-psychologists is exploit individuals' vulnerabilities
• They encourage self-diagnosis. It could harm some clinical cases
• They overemphasize on positive thinking creating unrealistic expectations and contribute to feelings of inadequacy

Can we measure Happiness derived from our daily chores? What is the unit of measurement of Happiness?

Measuring happiness is subjective and can vary from person to person. We should be in a position to apply our own measures. 

If that is the case, this is how I would measure happiness -

• List down my daily chores and calendarise them (set alarms for each hour to remind me of a task)
• Before I start each chore, I remind myself that this task is created by me to feel happy. This helps me love any/ every task (even the ones I did not like e.g. swiping the floor, watering the garden etc.)
• Define some ‘victory lap’ for each task (A "victory lap" is a term to describe a celebratory or triumphant action taken after achieving success)
• Complete the chores for the day, do the victory laps and record the number of victory laps done 
• This record becomes my measure of happiness

Week 3

All the time I hear that helping others is happiness. What about the risks involved in helping others? If I feed the stray dogs on the street, my neighbours threaten me with legal cases, if I try saving children from the child labour mafia, the goons will kill me there and then. What is the use of this happiness if I no longer exist?

While helping others can indeed bring happiness and a sense of fulfillment, it's crucial to prioritize personal safety and well-being.

I would therefore look at these aspects before getting my happiness from helping others - 

• Identify risks involved in helping others and plan the required mitigation
• Collaborate with relevant authorities, law enforcement agencies etc.
• Build awareness among those who are likely to object (this however may not hold water if you are doing something that is against the interests of the mafia)

If I plan to help others, will I not be taking away my family time? Gandhi may have served the poor of the whole nation but he failed as a father. What is right?

Well, everyone can not be a Gandhi, but if you want to become one, you have to face the consequences.

It would however be a good idea to do the following 

• Speak to your family about your passion and get their views
• Try to get them involved in the cause
• If they do not want to get involved, set some quality time only for them

Week 4

Can your partner become your happiness coach? If yes, how do we go about it?

Of course. It will be a good idea to get your partner to study the art and science of coaching. 

It will be even better if your partner can get some certification. There are some well known frameworks such as the GROW model, Positive Psychology Coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Coaching, Kolb's Experiential Learning Model, Timothy Gallwey's Inner Game Coaching etc, 

How effective are online happiness surveys? (When I did the Optimism survey, my score was moderately pessimistic. This could have been because I did not understand the questions properly)

• Sometimes the surveys may miss some important aspects such as cultural sensitivity
• Some surveys may not consider contextualization (e.g. your age, your income, your current role…)
• Some surveys may not provide comparisons and benchmarks. You may not therefore understand how you fare against others
• Some surveys may not offer post survey conversations or follow-up/ interventions

Week 5

How feasible is it to find a job in line with the signature theme? Isn’t it risky to leave what you have and run after something that you never tried?

It is always great to find a job in line with your Ikigai. However, the decision to pursue a job change should be made with careful consideration such as these - 

• Is there a market demand for your strengths
• Are you networked with people with similar strengths?
• Have you studied the lives of people with similar strengths?
• Have you considered piloting (part time or taking vacation to experiment)?

What is the reliability of this tool (Strengthsfinder) in bringing happiness?

One of the criticisms is lack of scientific rigor associated with traditional psychometric assessments

Does the identified strengths truly correlates with job success in current role?This is not very clear.

Forer Effect (Barnum Effect) - The results may sometimes provide vague or overly positive descriptions that individuals could perceive as highly accurate

The StrengthsFinder tool provides a fixed set of strengths. There could be many more strengths.

Overemphasis on individual strengths. Other than asking us to connect with people with complementary strengths, it does not talk much about collaboration with large teams with diverse strengths

How does this tool take care of potential bias and cultural Sensitivity?

There is continuous research happening on this tool by the company. The users of the tool come from diverse locations and backgrounds. This may help the company to integrate this aspect in the tool.

Week 6

Is Buddhism the only way to battle suffering?

While Buddhism provides a specific philosophical and spiritual framework for understanding and overcoming suffering, there could be many other philosophical/ religious approaches. For example, Christianity emphasizes concepts like redemption, forgiveness, and divine grace, Hinduism advocates karma, bhakti yoga, and jnana yogas.

There are some secular approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and positive psychology that aim to alleviate suffering and enhance well-being. Greek philosopher Zeno of Citium’s Stoicism, for instance, focuses on cultivating resilience, virtue, and acceptance of what cannot be changed.

Do we have cases of depression from history and mythology?

From history - Abraham Lincoln, Vincent van Gogh, Virginia Woolf

From Greek mythology - Niobe, a queen in Greek mythology, faced severe grief and loss when the Gods killed all her children. She turned into a stone statue, perpetually weeping. There are some stories about huge destructive consequences created by people facing unchecked emotional turmoil e.g. Achilles, Medea a Greek sorceress, Ajax etc. 

Is depression just a twisted reality or some chemical imbalance in the brain?

Depression is a mental health disorder. It involves a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. 

Biological Factors - Imbalances in neurotransmitters (such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine). However as per the latest research treats “chemical imbalance" theory as an oversimplification

Psychological Factors - Distorted thinking patterns (negative perception of themselves, the world, and the future), stressful life events or adverse experiences during childhood may lead people to depression

Genetic and Environmental Factors - Individuals with a family history of depression may face increased probability of depression. Loneliness and social isolation could lead us to depression 

Week 7

What are the strategies for building relationships with gen z?

• Quality learning time - They would love to teach you life, technology and digital presence. Maybe you could pay them as you would pay a coach
• Share personal stories - Indirect way of telling them how you/ your parents succeeded and faced failures
• Celebrate their successes, even small successes
• Create an environment where they know they can come to you for support
• Learn and implement the art and science of active listening

What are the strategies for building relationships with our grown up/ married children?

• Respect boundaries (write down details including dates of unsolicited advices you gave them)
• Respect their partner and partner’s family
• Note down your constructive responses for each point of possible conflicts
• Create an environment where the children know they can come to you for support
• Learn and implement the art and science of active listening 

Week 8

Do we need to be happy all the time? 

Expecting to be happy all the time means we do not understand life. Life is an ocean of emotions. Happiness is a part of it. However, if we choose to be happy, we will find means and ways to be happy.

When we are undergoing feelings of sadness/ grief, it is OK to be normal and healthy to grieve and allow ourselves to experience these emotions.

When is it OK to not feel happy?

If we look at Plutchik’s wheel of emotions, ecstasy/ joy are one of the eight emotions. I feel it is OK not to feel happy when we are experiencing the other 7. Unless, of course you find your unique way of finding happiness when experiencing these 7 (e.g. Feeling happy when you are in a state of terror is an uncommon psychological experience. But feeling relieved and happy after you get over terror is OK. Could be a good idea to develop a habit of celebrating as soon as you successfully get over negative feelings)  

I see a jungle opposite me. My curiosity and sense of adventure wants me to enter the jungle. Is this a feeling of happiness? What about the dangers of entering an unknown territory without understanding the dangers?

This kind of curiosity and adventurous spirit is often linked to a sense of exploration, novelty, and the thrill of the unknown. But it is crucial to balance the sense of adventure with a realistic assessment of potential risks.

Week 9 

Do we live in life only for Happiness?

The pursuit of happiness is a significant aspect of the human experience, but it is not the sole purpose of life for everyone.

For some, dying for a cause or dying for their nation could be more important than happiness.

For some, undergoing extreme pain for a cause could be more important.

For some, struggling to live (food and shelter) could supersede pursuing happiness.

What do the saints and Gurus speak about Happiness?

I studied some modern Gurus to know what they speak about Happiness. Here’s the summary.

• Cultivating a sense of joy and peacefulness irrespective of external circumstances (Inner engineering is a nice word I found)
• Finding purpose and meaning in one's life
• Connection and Compassion (service to others)
• Living in the presence (mindfulness)
• Practicing spirituality (including meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises)
• Healthy lifestyle
• Self-discipline
• DOing your tasks with devotion

Week 10 

How should we celebrate when we make a decision when we are given too many options to choose from?

Create some kind of decision-making-ritual that involves how you will make a decision, when you will make a decision and how you will celebrate. Will you celebrate at each stage? Depends what you wrote in your decision making template😀

How does regret impact happiness?

Regret definitely impacts happiness. But how long and how big an impact will depend on each person.

The relationship between regret and happiness is influenced by various factors, including the nature of the regret, individual coping mechanisms, and the ability to learn and grow from experiences.

As a mature person, one is supposed to get over regrets quickly and to move on.

Task 4 - Evaluation (30 minutes)

(Distribute evaluation forms or surveys for students to provide feedback on the course structure, content, teaching methods, and any other relevant aspects.

Discuss the importance of constructive feedback and how it can contribute to the improvement of future courses.

Allow time for students to share verbal feedback or ask questions about the evaluation process.)

Feedback question	Feedback
Course structure	The course involved study of different theories and models about Happiness (including a week to study Depression and suffering) It also had some exercises about self assessment/ reflection A week on developing relationship (with parents and with partners) They could one about relation building with teenage children A topic of flow was a great information
Readings	The reading material touched on diverse topics by great scholars. I felt there was too much information about Buddhism.  Here’s the list of authors -  Csikszentmihalyi, Mihali. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience His Holiness the Lama, Dalai and Howard C. Cutler. The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living Frankl, Viktor E. Man’s Search for Meaning Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want Peterson, Christopher. A Primer in Positive Psychology Ricard, Matthieu. Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill Schwartz, Barry. The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less Seligman, Martin E. P. Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. Weiner, Eric. The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World
Assignments	Assignments included taking up different surveys about happiness, about wellness and about finding your strengths There were some nice assignments about writing your legacy and about interviewing someone to their views about happiness Study of how different cultures look at happiness was good Some activities were unique such as Do one pleasurable activity and one service-oriented activity and compare, Live an optimistic day and live a day feeling like a pessimistic There could be one session on how to measure happiness depending each individual’s personality

The Art and Science of Happiness - Solved assignment - Week 11

 

Photo credit - Freepik

Tasks for the week (Finding meaning in our lives)

• Read Chapter 8. “Committing to Your Goals.” - Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want
• Do the values inventory from Chapter 7 - Ramsay, Graham Gordon, and Holly Barlow Sweet. A Creative Guide to Exploring Your Life: Self-Reflection Using Photography, Art and Writing
• Write a mini-autobiography

Task 1 - Summary of Chapter 8. “Happiness Activity No. 10: Committing to Your Goals.” 

Author - Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want

Summary

An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding - Robert Louis Stevenson

Australian psychiatrist W. Beran Wolfe - If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert.

It turns out that the process of working towards a goal is as important as its attainment.

Six benefits of committed goal pursuit

• Provides us sense of purpose
• Bolsters our self esteem
• Adds structure and meaning to our daily lives (outcome, deadlines, timetables)
• Helps us learn to master our use of time
• Commitment to goals helps us cope better during times of crisis 
• Often involves engaging with people. Such social connections can be happiness inducing

What kind of goals should you pursue?

Intrinsic goals - Goals that are meaningful to you, and that allow you to grow. Intrinsic goals satisfy these three needs - 

- autonomy (I control it)

- sense of competence (I can do it) and 

- relatedness (I have people around who can help me achieve my goal). 

Extrinsic goals reflect more what other people approve of e.g. making more money, getting a good job etc. Extrinsic goals are important because they provide resources (money, power..) to pursue intrinsic goals

Authentic goals - Authentic goals are around long-held interests and core values. The more a goal fits your nature, the more rewarding its pursuit will be. (Ref - Self-determined goals - Ken Sheldon and Andrew Elliot).

Approach goals - Do your goals involve approaching desirable outcomes (viz making three new friends this week) or avoiding undesirable outcomes (viz avoiding an argument)?

Harmonious goals - The goals should complement each other

Flexible and Appropriate goals - The goals that we set for ourselves in our twenties are different from those we set in our forties.

Activity goals - Hedonic goals bring short-lived happiness whereas Eudaemonic goals bring sustained happiness. Examples of Hedonic goals - more of sensory pleasures (entertainment, culinary pleasure, socializing and parties etc.) Examples of Eudaemonic goals - personal growth, meaningful relationships, contributing to society, self-discovery…

Exercise

1. Think about goals that are currently important to you (around 8). Assign attribute to each - Intrinsic/ Extrinsic, Authentic/ Inauthentic, Approach oriented/ Avoidance oriented, Harmonious/ Conflicting, Eudaimonic/ Hedonic, Flexible, Appropriate/ Rigid, Inappropriate (described in the table below)
2. Describe in writing the personal legacy that you would like to leave (Already written in assignment 2)
3. Write summary of your life, your values and accomplishments (Covered below)
4. What kind of lives you would like your children/ grandchildren lead as adults (I would like them to write their own self-help book and implement it in their lives)  

Exercise - Current goals that are important to me

These goals are intrinsic (meaningful to me and allows me to grow), authentic (created by me for me), approach (approaches desirable outcomes not avoiding outcomes), harmonious (not conflicting with other goals), Flexible and Appropriate  (they are appropriate to my age) and Activity (whether Eudaimonic or Hedonic - as below)

Goal #	Goal	Eudaimonic or Hedonic	Evidence
1.	Study the art and science of happiness (this course)	Hedonic	Celebration after completing the course
2.	Create study material on the art and science of happiness for my near and dear ones	Eudaimonic	Availability of study material to people Awareness to people
3.	Achieve emotional well-being - Breathing (Pranayam) - Meditation - Daily journaling - Practice public speaking	Hedonic	Pranayam/ meditation - record of daily score in the journal Public speaking - availability of videos
4.	Achieve physical well-being - Walk 4 kms/ do Yoga - Create and follow good diet calendar	Hedonic	Record of daily score in the journal
5.	Achieve occupational well-being - Create a career plan post this study	Hedonic	Career plan
6.	Achieve social well-being - Calendarised meets/ call with family/ friends	Hedonic	Record of daily score in the journal
7.	Achieve intellectual well-being - Daily study of life skills	Hedonic	Record of daily score in the journal

Task 2 - Values inventory in chapter 7

Author : Ramsay, Graham Gordon, and Holly Barlow Sweet. A Creative Guide to Exploring Your Life: Self-Reflection Using Photography, Art and Writing

Exercise - Insurance inventory of valued items

The background to this exercise 

The authors write - When we talk about meaning in our lives, we are focused on that which gives us a sense of purpose. We all find meaning in our own ways, based on what we consider to be important. But no matter what it is that we care about, we govern our lives based on the things that we value and that give meaning to our existence.

The more we are conscious of what we find important, the better able we are to make more informed choices about what we want to do with our lives.

Team exercise - 

Purpose: To help you conceptualize what you value by looking at what you own and have in your living space

Materials needed: Camera, pen and paper or computer.

Instructions:

1. Go to your living space and look around you. Make an inventory of ten things that you notice that you might want to include in an “insurance inventory.” These items need not necessarily be of great monetary value—they can be of sentimental or symbolic value.

2. Next to each item in the list, describe where the item came from, when you got it, its dollar value (if any), and its meaning or significance to you.

3. Take a quick snapshot of each item and attach it to the description of that item.

Write a para for each item considering these questions and share with your partner

• When you look through the objects in your living space, how do they reflect your core values?
• Which items in your living space would you be most distressed to lose and why?
• What can you surmise about someone’s values from the objects in their lives?
• How do you relate to what your partner values? What kinds of commonalities and differences can you see?

My insurance inventory of valued items

The first question to answer about each item is - how does it reflect my core values. My core values have been - Creativity, The world is a family, Corporate citizenship.

Flute - 

I see a flute in front of me. I remember with gratitude that it was gifted to me long ago by my colleague UshaRani Kamath. I will be distressed if I lose it because it is a gift from someone who cared about my well-being. This item is not in line with my core values. If it were someone else, he/ she could have made better use of it.

Maybe someday.

Monetary value - INR 3,000/-

Manual for people managers

I see a copy of the manual that we as a team created for our People Managers. It was a kind of a welcome kit for the new people managers of our company. It was a creative piece, inspired from the rigour/ non-negotiable actions followed in the military. I remember two of my colleagues (Akash Chander and Shanthi Ubrangala) who gave it a shape. I will not be distressed to lose it because I do not have any value for it at this juncture of life. I would definitely like to lose it to someone who could make use of it. Monetary value - A month of efforts

Designer books

After I published my first book, I felt like re-creating it to suit the CEOs I loved. I created some 20 such designer books - a single copy for each CEO (of course I printed one copy for my collection too😀, but now I'm giving them away to my near and dear ones).

When I sent them these books, I really hoped these folks would implement the concept. Maybe someday, they will.

Colleen Barrett, President emerita of Southwest Airlines, was really sweet. She sent me one of her books, a return gift.

Edward De Bono and DATT

I see a copy of the book that I received during the workshop conducted by Peter De Bono in 2002 in Oxford.

It helps me practice creative thinking even after twenty years.

I won’t be distressed to lose this piece because it is available on the internet. But its presence reminds me often that I must keep practicing creative thinking. 

Monetary value - INR 20K

Letter from Sachin Tendulkar

It was my wife’s 60th birthday and I wanted to give her a unique gift. She is a die-hard fan of Sachin Tendulka (the God of Cricket for Indians). So a greeting from him would be really unique. 

I created a greeting card and sent it to Sachin to sign it and send it to my wife. Surprise, surprise, the guy actually sent it along with this letter. I would hate to lose it. Monetary value - ? 

Some digital things

e-Book on Life-skills
Nearly 100 of us cousins created an e-book about WHO’s Life-skills. It was a gift for an uncle on his 90th birthday. Monetary value - 2 months of efforts to get my relatives to record their piece.

Now hosted on YouTube. It will be a great source for people who want to study all the 10 topics of Life-skills.

Collaborative painting with my 80 plus aunts and uncles

Some time ago, I suddenly developed a strong need to meet my senior relatives. But I couldn’t just get up and travel and meet them. I had to create a reason. So I created a collaborative painting event. I went around cities meeting each of my 80 plus uncles and aunts and got them to paint. For them it was like going back to their school-days. Please feel free to watch the video.

Gift for my Mom on her 83rd birthday

My mother did not know that I was secretly collating her research work papers to print it in a book.

I felt my gift was something really special for her.

I am happy to share the video of the event when my mother released her book.

Task 3 - Mini auto-biography

Who are my heroes? And did I live my life like them?

Here’s my mini autobiography - 

Let me first write about my heroes and what I liked about them.

My heroes were successful, they gave utmost importance to their time.

They had high self worth, they were not afraid to speak their mind.

They had clarity about their goals and they could bulldoze anyone who came in their way when they were busy achieving their goals.

I had none of these skills but, looking back, I think others worked hard to bring success and happiness for me.

As a school goer, I was a bright boy. Like any bright kid in India, I was supposed to be a Doctor. But this plan went out of the window when I got engulfed in the chess whirlwind of the famous world chess championship, 1972. I watched Bobby Fischer’s matches day and night and played chess every waking minute of my life. 

As a result, I had to forego my studies and start working. I was about 19 then. I had accepted myself as a failure in life. 

No one told me then that failure is the first step to start your wonderful life journey. No one told me that it's the ‘violet band’ of a rainbow, the ‘do’ of the musical scale.

Surprisingly, I have had an amazing journey. ‘Somehow’ opportunities just landed in my lap thanks to so many of my friends. I am saying ‘somehow’ because I never planned my career. I just loved working. I could easily go into flow in any type of work.

I worked in small start-ups, in large companies, in government run behemoths, in large multinationals. I worked in a traditional banking company and in hi-tech software companies. And I worked in almost all functions of organizations.

Then I became a coach and an author, ultimately landing myself as a student of the art and science of happiness😀.

I realized over time that though I did not have the strengths of my heroes, I had something else. 

Someone told me that I have a creative mind, and I believed it. It became part of my value system. 

Someone guessed that I have good people skills and they made me a head of a people function. 

My boss felt that I can write well (I had no evidence then about writing). And he sent me on leave asking me to come back after I write a book (and I did).

If I am asked to analyze why I progressed in career, I would say this about me -

• His personal brand has a good recall. It helps people to refer him to others
• He believes that he is the brand ambassador of the organization and acts accordingly, always
• He is creative, he is creative in whatever he does
• He loves people and people know he loves them

 Let me stop here and share my life’s learning that I found after long years of study.  

Takeaway 1 - The fundamental philosophical questions

I am no longer confused about questions, such as Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going? What is the purpose of our existence? Does God exist? … etc.

I am aware that the search for answers to these questions has been going on for thousands of years and will continue in the future.

My takeaway - I will think about these questions only if I choose my profession as a philosopher

Takeaway 2 - Miseries of life

I know that our life is full of misery, hardships, torture and hell. We have no answers as to why people suffer.

This is what Matthieu Ricard writes about suffering -  

Everyone suffers. At every moment and throughout the world…..Every second, people are murdered, tortured, beaten, maimed, separated from their loved ones…..Some are killed out of hatred, greed, ignorance, ambition, pride, or envy… Some die of hunger, cold, exhaustion; others are charred by fire, crushed by rocks, or swept away by the waters….At any given moment tens of thousands of animals are killed by humans, torn to pieces. Others suffer endless torments at the hands of their owners, bearing heavy burdens, in chains their entire lives….

My takeaway - I used to feel sad when I saw suffering. I now choose not to get impacted by these miseries, unless I want to make it my purpose in life as an activist or an artist or a Tchaikovsky.

Takeaway 3 - Success and Happiness

The search for the right mantra for success and happiness, the elusive intangibles, exists for many many many years. There are hundreds of religions, thousands of Gurus, millions of books that provide mantra for these.

My takeaway - Happiness is just a chemical concoction and success is one of the triggers to feel happy (It is my takeaway. Yours could be something else)