Day 9 - Coping with emotions

Picture credit - wikipedia



Day 9 - Coping with emotions

What are emotions and how to cope with emotions?

Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure. 

The basic emotions are 

1. joy/ sadness, 

2. acceptance/ disgust, 

3. fear/ anger, 

4. surprise/ anticipation. 

The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called feelings. 

Coping with emotions is - a. understanding the patterns of emotions, b. understanding our responses to emotions and c. taking corrective and preventive actions

How to improve your coping skills?

Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Emotions and Coping skills. 

Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Emotional intelligence. 

1. Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of coping with emotions 
2. Apply - 
• Identify a model suitable to you
• Create a template to document the flow of the process
• Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
• Maintain record/ process flow of every important activity you did with respect to this skill
• Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
3. Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
4. Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts

My learning for the day

Source - The Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It

Author - Hokuma Karimova

What are emotions

Can you guess how many emotions a human can experience? It’s around 34,000.

With so many emotions, how can one navigate the turbulent waters of feelings, without getting lost? The answer: an emotion wheel proposed by Dr. Robert Plutchik (1927-2006) in 1980.

Emotions influence our actions in five main ways - 

1. Emotion Component - This is where an individual simply experiences the feelings

2. Action Tendency Component - Once the emotion is identified, the body moves into action. Some actions are involuntary (like pulling your hand away from a hot iron), some are voluntary (accepting the fear to continue with a speech)

3. Appraisal Component - By analyzing the emotion, the individual is able to pick up on the situations, actions, environments, or individuals that are causing the emotion

4. Motor Component - This is the communicative function of how we express what we are experiencing (facial expressions, hand gestures, body movements, etc.)

5. Physiological Component - This component is the chemical reaction that our body experiences (e.g. the rush of blood flow to the hands occurs when one experiences the emotion of anger)

The eight primary emotions in Plutchik’s emotion wheel, are grouped into polar opposites as below:

- joy and sadness

- acceptance and disgust

- fear and anger

- surprise and anticipation

Animals and humans experience the same basic emotions. The most influential role of emotions is to help us survive. 

Change in intensity of emotions produces the diverse amount of emotions (e.g. Annoyance → Anger → Rage, Serenity → Joy → Ecstasy, Pensiveness → Sadness → Grief, Acceptance → Trust → Admiration)

Some of the survival behaviors that drive our actions in response to emotions - 

- Protection - Withdrawal, retreat (activated by fear and terror)

- Destruction - Attack (activated by anger and rage)

- Exploration - Investigating an environment (activated by curiosity and play)

Ways to cope with emotions

Mood boosters - Read the story of someone you admire, Watch a funny YouTube video, Play with your pet

Addressing our basic needs - Eat a healthy snack, Drink a glass of water, Take a shower, Take a nap

Process feelings - Make a gratitude list, Punch a pillow, Let yourself cry, Rip paper into small pieces

Problem solving - Brainstorm your emotions (with a friend or family member) to find a solution, make a list of your strengths that could help you cope with emotions

Volunteering/ Acts of kindness - Do something nice for someone you know, volunteer your time

Hobbies/ Stress relievers - Learn something new, Create (paint, or draw, write, play a sport, start a garden)

Relaxation exercises - Go for a walk, meditate, do Yoga, practice Pranayama (breathing exercises)

Asking for help - Call a family member/ friend, take professional help

Whatever you do from the above, tell yourself why you are doing a particular activity, do the activity, celebrate after the activity for finding your own way to cope with emotions, write down the whole incident to read and enjoy some time in future. These stories will help you when you guide others.

Are you ready for the journey? Bon voyage, Yaxshi sayohat qiling! 

Purpose of this document

I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day. 

My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself. 

This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends. 

I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.

What are Life Skills?

UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three  broad categories of skills

- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information, 

- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, 

- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.

Which LifeSkills are covered?

The World Health Organisation identified these ten basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures: 

- Decision-making

- Problem-solving

- Creative thinking

- Critical thinking

- Communication

- Interpersonal skills

- Self-awareness

- Empathy

- Coping with emotions

- Coping with stress.

Some trivia

‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.

Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives

- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS

- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy

- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention

- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence

- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.

Day 8 - Empathy

Picture credit - NYTimes

Day 8 - Empathy

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

This is a nice quote that explains the difference between Empathy and Sympathy - 

“Empathy is walking a mile in somebody else's moccasins. Sympathy is being sorry their feet hurt.” ― Rebecca O'Donnell

How to improve Empathy?

Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Empathy. 

Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Empathy. 

1. Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of Empathy 
2. Apply - 
• Identify a model suitable to you
• Create a template to document the flow of the process
• Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
• Maintain record/ process flow of every important activity you did with respect to this skill
• Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
3. Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
4. Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts

My learning for the day

Source - 5 People Who Changed the World By Taking Compassion to the Extreme

Author - Roman Krznaric

This article is about five extraordinary people who got great insights through “experiential empathy” (Where you don’t just imagine someone else’s life but try to live it yourself, doing the things they do, living in the places where they live, and knowing the people they know). 

1. St. Francis of Assisi: Learning from beggars

Year 1206 - A turning point in a young man’s life. Giovanni Bernadone, the 23-year-old son of a wealthy merchant, went on a pilgrimage to St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. He could not help noticing the contrast between the opulence and lavishness within and the poverty of the beggars sitting outside. 

He persuaded one of them to exchange clothes with him and spent the rest of the day in rags begging for alms. This experience was the starting point of his religious order to serve the poor and the lepers.

Giovanni Bernadone is known to the world as St. Francis of Assisi

2. Beatrice Webb: From comfort to the sweatshop

Beatrice (1858-1943), born into a family of well-off businessmen and politicians, worked as a factory worker in a London textile factory, as part of her research into urban poverty.

Her empathy experiment inspired her to campaign for improved factory conditions and to support the cooperative and trade union movements.

3. Günther Walraff: Two years as an immigrant worker

Günther (1942-NA), a German investigative journalist, spent two years undercover as a Turkish immigrant worker. He wrote about his experience in his book ‘Lowest of the Low’. His study led to criminal investigations of firms using illegal labor, and resulted in improved protection for contract workers in several German states. Walraff’s work demonstrates the unique power of experiential empathy for uncovering social inequality.

Sharing only three stories here. You can read the rest in Roman’s article.

xx

Empathy is an important ability for career success because it improves your capacity to communicate with others, to be part of a team, and to better your leadership skills.

Summarising here Six Habits of Highly Empathic People so that you are inspired to include some of the habits in your daily life.

Habit 1: Cultivate curiosity about strangers - Highly empathic people have an insatiable curiosity about strangers. Curiosity expands our empathy when we talk to people outside our usual social circle, encountering lives and worldviews very different from our own.

Habit 2: Challenge prejudices and discover commonalities -  We all have assumptions about others and use collective labels e.g., “Muslim fundamentalist,” “welfare mom” etc. This prevents us from appreciating their individuality. Highly empathic people challenge their own preconceptions and prejudices and learn to appreciate the beauty in others  

Habit 3: Try another person’s life - Highly Empathetic People expand their empathy by gaining direct experience of other people’s lives, putting into practice the Native American proverb, “Walk a mile in another man’s moccasins before you criticize him.”

Habit 4: Listen hard and open up - Highly Empathetic People listen hard to others and do all they can to grasp their emotional state and needs, whether it is a friend who has just been diagnosed with cancer or a spouse who is upset at them for working late yet again

Habit 5: Inspire mass action and social change - Highly Empathetic People initiate/ support movements against oppressions of the powerless

Habit 6: Develop an ambitious imagination - Highly Empathetic People do far more than just empathizing. They create imaginative solutions to solve people’s problems. Most of our startup guys demonstrate empathy when they create technology solutions.

Are you ready for the journey? Bon voyage, Ugodno putovanje!

Purpose of this document

I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day. 

My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself. 

This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends. 

I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.

What are Life Skills?

UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three  broad categories of skills

- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information, 

- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, 

- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.

Which LifeSkills are covered?

The World Health Organisation identified these ten basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures: 

- Decision-making

- Problem-solving

- Creative thinking

- Critical thinking

- Communication

- Interpersonal skills

- Self-awareness

- Empathy

- Coping with emotions

- Coping with stress.

Some trivia

‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.

Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives

- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS

- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy

- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention

- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence

- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.

128 words - 1 minute reading - Flesch–Kincaid readability score 70-60 - English

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Some insights gained by five extraordinary individuals through "experiential empathy"—immersing themselves in others' lives.

St. Francis of Assisi: Moved by the contrast between wealth and poverty, he donned beggar's clothes, sparking his mission to serve the poor.

Beatrice Webb: Transitioning from privilege to factory labor, she advocated for improved working conditions.

Günther Walraff: Infiltrating as a Turkish immigrant worker, he exposed labor exploitation, prompting legal reforms.

These stories illustrate the transformative power of empathetic experiences in addressing social inequality. Empathy is vital for career success, enhancing communication, teamwork, and leadership. Six habits of highly empathetic individuals include curiosity about strangers, challenging prejudices, and experiencing others' lives firsthand. They listen attentively, catalyze social change, and innovate solutions. Embracing empathy enriches lives and fosters meaningful connections.

Day 7 - Self-Awareness Skill

Picture credit - GreystoneGlobal


Day 7 - Self-Awareness Skill

What is Self-Awareness Skill?

Self-Awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection

How to improve Self-Awareness Skill?

Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Self-Awareness Skill. 

Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Self-Awareness Skill. 

1. Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of Self-Awareness 
2. Apply - 
• Identify a model suitable to you
• Create a template to document the flow of the process
• Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
• Maintain record/ process flow of every important Self-Awareness activity you did
• Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
3. Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
4. Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts

My learning for the day

Source - What Is Self-Awareness and Why Is It Important?

Author - Courtney Ackerman

Self-Awareness Theory is based on the idea that you are not your thoughts, but the entity observing your thoughts. Self-Awareness is comparing our feelings, responses, actions, performance... against our value system and taking action to close the gaps.

Self awareness in action - two stories

1. Bob at work - Bob struggles with creating a quarterly report at work. After being aware of his problem, he reflects on it and finds out that the activity of ‘writing it up cohesively and clearly’ is where the problem lies. He takes three steps - joins a course to improve his writing, finds a great colleague to get his work reviewed, creates a reusable template to reduce the writing part

2. Monique at home - Monique develops a feeling that she is being taken for granted by her spouse. She does self awareness reflection to find if she could be contributing to the problem. She finds out that she does not appreciate her spouse enough and does not notice some great things in him. This reflection helps Monique to take steps and change the negative feeling of being taken from granted.

Self discovery is an exciting journey and taking steps to make ourselves better after this discovery is a creative experience.

Cultivating self awareness

Practice meditation and mindfulness - this will help you be aware of your internal state

Practice Yoga - the stretching & bending involved in Yoga will teach you self-acceptance

Make time to reflect - go over your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to see where you met your standards, where you failed them, and where you could improve

Journaling - writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to become more aware and intentional (this record will help you when you share your wins and failures of the journey)

Ask the people you love - some of what they say would be useful to you in your self awareness journey. There could be some blind spots that you would have missed during your reflections. Talking to someone will help to discover these blind spots

Are you ready for the journey? Bon voyage, Gute Reise!

Purpose of this document

I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day. 

My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself. 

This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends. 

I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.

What are Life Skills?

UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three  broad categories of skills

• cognitive skills for analyzing and using information, 
• personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, 
• inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.

Which LifeSkills are covered?

The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures: 

1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.

Some trivia

‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.

Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives

• Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
• Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
• United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
• USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
• South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.

128 words - 1 minute reading - Flesch–Kincaid readability score 70-60 - English

Self-Awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection

Self-awareness manifests in action through two stories:

Bob's Workplace Struggle: Identifying his challenge in creating quarterly reports, Bob takes proactive steps. He enrolls in a writing course, seeks feedback from a colleague, and develops a reusable template to enhance clarity and cohesion.

Monique's Personal Insight: Feeling undervalued by her spouse, Monique engages in self-reflection. She realizes her lack of appreciation and neglect of her spouse's positive attributes. This realization prompts her to change her perspective and nurture her relationship positively.

Embarking on self-discovery is a stimulating journey. Cultivate self-awareness through practices like meditation, yoga for self-acceptance, reflective time, and journaling. Additionally, seek input from loved ones to uncover blind spots and refine personal growth efforts. Such intentional steps foster creativity and personal development.