Day 17 - Self Awareness Skill

Picture credit - positivepsychology

Day 17 - Self-Awareness Skill

What is Self-Awareness Skill?

Self-Awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection

My learning for the day

Source - Are you self-aware?, Self-Efficacy

Author - ScienceBeta, Albert Bandura

Importance of self-awareness

Honing self-awareness skill is one of the most important aspects of personal development, determining almost everything else

Self-awareness is - being aware of your goals, your strengths and weaknesses, your beliefs/ philosophy in life etc.

A great sign of self-awareness skill is your ability to clearly articulate why you are doing what you are doing

Self-efficacy

The concept of Self efficacy was proposed by Albert Bandura (1925-NA), Canadian-American Psychologist in 1977

Self-efficacy (the perceived belief we have in our own abilities) is the foundation of human inspiration, motivation, performance accomplishments, and emotional well-being

People with high self efficacy (who are confident of their capabilities) approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than as threats to be avoided; They heighten and sustain their efforts in the face of failure

People with low self efficacy (who doubt their capabilities) shy away from difficult tasks which they view as personal threats. They have low aspirations and weak commitment. When faced with difficult tasks, they dwell on their personal deficiencies, on the obstacles they will encounter, and all kinds of adverse outcomes rather than concentrate on how to perform successfully

These are the four ways you develop your self efficacy - 

1. Mastery experiences - Drawing confidence from your past successes (successfully completing a task strengthens sense of self-efficacy)

2. Social modeling - Learning from your role models (Social modeling is the act of witnessing other people successfully completing a task and drawing inspiration from them)

3. Social persuasion - Learning from social influence (finding a right mentor/ coach/ seeking feedback from others)

4. Emotional State - Learning from your style of ‘judging’ yourself (identifying the mental roadblocks that come in the way and removing them). 

Are you ready for the journey? Happy journey, Shchaslyva podorozh! 

How to improve Self-Awareness Skill?

Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Self-Awareness Skill. 

Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Self-Awareness Skill. 

1. Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of Self-Awareness 
2. Apply - 
• Identify a model suitable to you
• Create a template to document the flow of the process
• Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
• Maintain record/ process flow of every important Self-Awareness activity you did
• Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
3. Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
4. Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts

Purpose of this document

I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day. My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself. This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends. I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.

What are Life Skills?

UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three  broad categories of skills

• cognitive skills for analyzing and using information, 
• personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, 
• inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.

Which LifeSkills are covered?

The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures: 

1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.

Some trivia

‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.

Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives

• Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
• Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
• United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
• USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
• South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.

Day 16 - Interpersonal Skill

Picture credit - Cassandra Mainiero

Day 16 - Interpersonal Skill

What is Interpersonal Skill?

Interpersonal Skill is an ability to recognize and understand other people’s moods, desires, motivations, and intentions. 

These skills are part of interpersonal skills - negotiation and conflict management, assertiveness skills, refusal skills, influencing/ persuasion skills, networking and motivation skills

How to improve Interpersonal Skill?

Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Interpersonal Skill. 

Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Interpersonal Skill. 

1. Learn - Invest time in learning different models/ techniques of Interpersonal Skill 
2. Apply - 
• Identify a model suitable to you
• Create a template to document the flow of the process
• Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
• Maintain record/ process flow of every important Interpersonal interaction you did
• Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
3. Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
4. Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts

My learning for the day

Source - How to Express Feelings... and How Not To

Author - Susan Heitler

Do you think WE hold the power to generate a caring and empathetic response? Yes we do. 

Here are the two statements (feelings) and responses to the feelings. Your vote goes to? - 

A - “You make me feel unattractive.” (Response by A’s spouse - “Well, that’s because you make me feel terrible.”)

B - “I feel unattractive.” (Response by B’s spouse - “I’m so sorry you feel that way. I probably could tell you more often how much I appreciate you”)

Expressing feelings (effectively) is a great interpersonal skill. 

Knowing how to express feelings tactfully is vital if you want to feel close to people and to sustain your relationships.

Saying what you feel can intensify your connections—or wreck your relationships.

It is amazing how one small word ‘that’ can convert a ‘feeling’ into a ‘thought’ in the listener's mind. The word ‘that’ indicates that what will follow is going to be a thought (a dry piece of information, coming from the brain), NOT a feeling (a call from the heart).

Impact of the sentence starting with “You make me feel…” - 

1. “You make me feel…” comes across as an accusation or a statement of blame—not a statement of your feelings

2. “You make me feel…” is disempowering

3.“You make me feel…” invites counter-accusations

4. “You make me feel...” is based on a misunderstanding about what triggers feelings

5. “You make me feel…” focuses you on the listener, taking your focus off the person you are responsible for understanding - yourself

Three great ways to express feelings - 

1. Anger invites defensiveness. If your feeling is “mad” or “angry,” calm down before you start talking. An angry voice invites an angry voice in return

2. Choose a word other than a word from the anger family (e.g. I am mad, I am exasperated, I am irritated…). Choose something from sad, scared… families. You will be heard without defensiveness

3. Begin with “I feel…” “I felt…” or “I have been feeling…” For example, "I feel discouraged about..."

Hope this learning inspires you to check how you express your feelings. Thank Susan everytime you say “I feel” instead of “You make me feel”.

One more tip from me - whenever you hear your colleague say “You make me feel....”, stop before responding, take a deep breath, convert his/ her statement in your mind - “I feel....” and then respond. You will see magic happening. 

Send Susan’s article to the person the next day. You will see magic happening again.  

Purpose of this document

I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day. 

My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself. 

This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends. 

I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.

What are Life Skills?

UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three  broad categories of skills

• cognitive skills for analyzing and using information, 
• personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, 
• inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.

Which LifeSkills are covered?

The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures: 

1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.

Some trivia

‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.

Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives

• Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
• Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
• United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
• USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
• South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.

Day 15 - Communication Skill

Picture credit - pixabay

Day 15 - Communication Skill

What is Communication Skill?

Communication Skill is the ability to effectively give and receive information.

Different types of communication - Verbal (oral/ written)/ Non-verbal/ Visual, Formal/ Informal, One-to-one/ One-to many...

The purpose of communication - to inform, to express feelings, to imagine, to influence, and to meet social expectations

How to improve Communication Skill?

Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Communication. 

Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Communication. 

1. Learn - Invest time in learning different models/ techniques of Communication Skill 
2. Apply - 
• Identify a model suitable to you
• Create a template to document the flow of the process
• Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
• Maintain record/ process flow of every important communication you did
• Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
3. Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
4. Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts

My learning for the day

Source - 3 Simple Frameworks to Give Effective Feedback

Author - QuercusApp

“The denial, or withholding of feedback, is the most severe form of psychological punishment we can inflict on one another.” - Charles Coonradt, Grandfather of Gamification

Feedback is a tremendous gift that we can give someone.

The probelm is - we are not trained how to give this gift. You often know what you need to say but don’t know how to present it well. 

These frameworks will help you.

1. The McKinsey model

McKinsey’s feedback model consists of three parts: Part A is the specific action, event or behavior you’d like someone to change, Part B is the impact of that behavior, Part C is a suggestion for what the person could do differently next time ("When you did [X], it made me feel [Y]. In the future, I would recommend that you do [Z]")

Examples - 

From David Jackson - “When you checked in on my progress every 10 minutes, it made me feel like you didn’t trust me to complete the project and I couldn’t maintain my focus on the task. In the future, I would suggest we agree upon specific milestones and check-in points to ensure the project will be completed on time.”

From Saberr Blog - “When you arrived late for the team meeting, it made me feel frustrated as we couldn’t get started. In the future, I would recommend you let us know if you are delayed.”

The McKinsey model’s strength is that it diffuses arguments by focusing on facts so that the person you’re addressing is less likely to take your words too personally.

2. The Stanford method

This method is called IL (I like)/ IW (I wish)/ WI (What if) method. In this approach, your feedback starts the sentence with either “I like”, “I wish” or with a suggestion phrased as “What if … ?”

Examples - 

From Saberr - “I like your presentation style.” “I wish you could add a couple of stories to make your presentations more effective.” ”What if you give more time for Q&A?”

From Akshay Kothari - “I like that we had sushi for lunch yesterday.”, “I wish that we all looked at metrics daily”, “I wonder if Apple is going to approve our iOS app anytime soon”

3. The SKS model

The SKS model was created by Prof. Phil Daniels of Bringham Young University.

SKS is - Stop-KeepDoing-StartDoing 

Begin your feedback by addressing the following questions - What should the person stop doing? What should the person keep doing? What should the person start doing?

Examples - 

From Marcia - 

1. Stop doing - What are you doing that is causing you to be less effective?

2. Keep doing - What are you doing right that is getting the right results?

3. Start doing - What new things should you begin doing to be more effective?

From Prakash Prabhu (my ex-colleague who uses SKS for his quarterly performance meetings) - 

His words - “In my view, the annual performance meetings do not work. Business priorities go on changing and the KPIs set at the beginning of the year have no meaning. The SKS model helps me because it empowers my team members to own the tasks. Since these meetings are quite frequent, my team members do not get a rude shock about their performance at the end of the year. One more advantage I found in this model is that the meeting gets over in 15 minutes. It also gives focus to my team members.”

Hope you can pick up a method suitable to your taste and use it whenever you want to give feedback.

Purpose of this document

I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day. 

My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself. 

This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends. 

I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.

What are Life Skills?

UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three  broad categories of skills

- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information, 

- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, 

- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.

Which LifeSkills are covered?

The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures: 

1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.

Some trivia

‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.

Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives

- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS

- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy

- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention

- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence

- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.