Picture credit - DailyO
Day 68 - Empathy
16 June, 2020
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sirurp@gmail.com
My learning for the day
Today I want to share my learning about Empathy from two mythological stories
Story 1 - Ram and Shabari (From Hindu mythology)
Shabari was a hunter's daughter and belonged to the Nishadha tribal community. The night before her marriage, she saw that thousands of goats and sheep were brought by her father, which were going to be sacrificed for the marriage dinner. Moved by compassion, during the early hours of the morning, she renounced the world and ran away to meet a Master. She met Sage Matanga at the foot of the Mountain Rishyamukha and accepted him as guru, serving him with devotion.
When her guru Matanga was about to die, Shabari, now an old woman, felt she should also die with her Guru. But Matanga asked her to wait for Lord Ram’s visit after which she should leave her body. As per her guru's words, Shabari waited for Ram’s arrival.
Everyday Shabari would go out of her ashram and pluck berry fruits for Lord Ram. She would pluck a fruit, first taste it, and if it was sweet she would put it in her basket and discard the bitter ones. She wanted to give the good and sweet fruits to Ram. The thought never came to her that she should not taste it before it was offered to a deity. Thus collecting a few fruits, Shabari went back to her ashram and eagerly anticipated Ram's arrival.
Finally Ram arrived at her hut. Shabari in all ecstasy offered all the half eaten berries to the Lord. Ram looked at the fruits and happily ate them. Laxman, Ram’s brother, was angry with Shabari for offering such fruits to Ram. Ram told him Shabari’s story and her intent behind tasting the berries.
This is a great story about showing empathy to others.
The Learning
When dealing with others, understand the intent behind their act. Think why they did a particular act, however illogical it may sound to you, before judging them using your ‘lenses’.
Story 2 - The story of Narcissus (from Greek mythology)
Narcissus was a gorgeous man who fell in love with his own reflection.
It was predicted that Narcissus would have a long, wonderful life, as long as he never saw his own reflection.
His whole life Narcissus rejected all attempts of others to earn his affections, even causing some of his suitors to commit suicide just to prove their unrequited love.
When the goddess of love got word of this, Narcissus was punished by a love that would never be fulfilled. He fell in love with his own reflection, a love that could never be truly returned, and ultimately he killed himself because he could not bear the agony of unfulfilled love.
Source - mamiverse
The Learning
This is a story of someone who had no empathy for others.
Narcissistic personality disorder, one of several types of personality disorders, is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
My learning so far on this topic
Day 8 post - 5 People Who Changed the World By Taking Compassion to the Extreme
Day 18 post - How brands are using empathy to enhance marketing
Day 28 post - Types of unempathetic people
Day 38 - Two TED talks - Trash cart Superheroes & Compassion and the true meaning of empathy
Day 48 - Two books - Well-Designed: How to Use How to Use Empathy to Create Products People Love & Wired to Care: How Companies Prosper When They Create Widespread Empathy
Day 58 - Two movies - E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) & Bajrangi Bhaijaan (2015)
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
This is a nice quote that explains the difference between Empathy and Sympathy -
“Empathy is walking a mile in somebody else's moccasins. Sympathy is being sorry their feet hurt.” ― Rebecca O'Donnell
This is what Webster Dictionary says -
Sympathy - an affinity, association, or relationship between persons or things wherein whatever affects one similarly affects the other
Empathy - the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner
Compassion - sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Empathy.
Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Empathy.
Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of Empathy
Apply -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did with respect to Empathy
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills
- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
