Picture credit - wikipedia
Day 9 - Coping with emotions
What are emotions and how to cope with emotions?
Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
The basic emotions are
1. joy/ sadness,
2. acceptance/ disgust,
3. fear/ anger,
4. surprise/ anticipation.
The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called feelings.
Coping with emotions is - a. understanding the patterns of emotions, b. understanding our responses to emotions and c. taking corrective and preventive actions
How to improve your coping skills?
Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of Emotions and Coping skills.
Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of Emotional intelligence.
- Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of coping with emotions
- Apply -
- Identify a model suitable to you
- Create a template to document the flow of the process
- Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
- Maintain record/ process flow of every important activity you did with respect to this skill
- Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
- Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
- Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts
My learning for the day
Author - Hokuma Karimova
What are emotions
Can you guess how many emotions a human can experience? It’s around 34,000.
With so many emotions, how can one navigate the turbulent waters of feelings, without getting lost? The answer: an emotion wheel proposed by Dr. Robert Plutchik (1927-2006) in 1980.
Emotions influence our actions in five main ways -
1. Emotion Component - This is where an individual simply experiences the feelings
2. Action Tendency Component - Once the emotion is identified, the body moves into action. Some actions are involuntary (like pulling your hand away from a hot iron), some are voluntary (accepting the fear to continue with a speech)
3. Appraisal Component - By analyzing the emotion, the individual is able to pick up on the situations, actions, environments, or individuals that are causing the emotion
4. Motor Component - This is the communicative function of how we express what we are experiencing (facial expressions, hand gestures, body movements, etc.)
5. Physiological Component - This component is the chemical reaction that our body experiences (e.g. the rush of blood flow to the hands occurs when one experiences the emotion of anger)
The eight primary emotions in Plutchik’s emotion wheel, are grouped into polar opposites as below:
- joy and sadness
- acceptance and disgust
- fear and anger
- surprise and anticipation
Animals and humans experience the same basic emotions. The most influential role of emotions is to help us survive.
Change in intensity of emotions produces the diverse amount of emotions (e.g. Annoyance → Anger → Rage, Serenity → Joy → Ecstasy, Pensiveness → Sadness → Grief, Acceptance → Trust → Admiration)
Some of the survival behaviors that drive our actions in response to emotions -
- Protection - Withdrawal, retreat (activated by fear and terror)
- Destruction - Attack (activated by anger and rage)
- Exploration - Investigating an environment (activated by curiosity and play)
Ways to cope with emotions
Mood boosters - Read the story of someone you admire, Watch a funny YouTube video, Play with your pet
Addressing our basic needs - Eat a healthy snack, Drink a glass of water, Take a shower, Take a nap
Process feelings - Make a gratitude list, Punch a pillow, Let yourself cry, Rip paper into small pieces
Problem solving - Brainstorm your emotions (with a friend or family member) to find a solution, make a list of your strengths that could help you cope with emotions
Volunteering/ Acts of kindness - Do something nice for someone you know, volunteer your time
Hobbies/ Stress relievers - Learn something new, Create (paint, or draw, write, play a sport, start a garden)
Relaxation exercises - Go for a walk, meditate, do Yoga, practice Pranayama (breathing exercises)
Asking for help - Call a family member/ friend, take professional help
Whatever you do from the above, tell yourself why you are doing a particular activity, do the activity, celebrate after the activity for finding your own way to cope with emotions, write down the whole incident to read and enjoy some time in future. These stories will help you when you guide others.
Are you ready for the journey? Bon voyage, Yaxshi sayohat qiling!
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills
- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The World Health Organisation identified these ten basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
- Decision-making
- Problem-solving
- Creative thinking
- Critical thinking
- Communication
- Interpersonal skills
- Self-awareness
- Empathy
- Coping with emotions
- Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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