Picture credit - Thetis Dipping the Infant Achilles into the River Styx by Peter Paul Rubens (c. 1625)
Day 69 - Coping with emotions
17 June 2020
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sirurp@gmail.com
My learning for the day
Today I want to share my learning on the topic of coping with emotions from two mythological stories. The first story is about Achilles and his anger and the second is about Dhruva and his sadness.
Story 1 - Wrath of Achilles (From Greek mythology)
The epic Iliad written presumably by Homer is about the Trojan War. Iliad was written sometime around 630BC.
Iliad is primarily about menis or fury, specifically, the wrath of the Greeks' best warrior, Achilles. Unlike most heroes who demonstrate glory and nobleness, Iliad’s hero Achilles represents anger, distress and grief.
The first line of the epic gives the gist of Achilles’ wrath - Sing, Goddess, sing of the rage of Achilles, that murderous anger which condemned Achaeans to countless agonies.
Achilles was the bravest, handsomest, and greatest warrior of the army of Agamemnon in the Trojan War. During the first nine years of the war, Achilles ravaged the country around Troy and took 12 cities.
We see Achilles’ first sign of wrath when he withdraws from the battle and refuses to fight. His withdrawal from the battle was because of his anger against Agamemnon who insults him publicly. The result of Achilles’ act was a huge loss of human lives at the hands of the Trojan army.
Achilles’ second act of wrath was when he kills Hector, the Trojan Hero. Achilles, thereafter, attaches the corpse to his chariot and drags it triumphantly around the walls of the city. And humiliates the feelings of Troy by feeding Hector’s body to dogs and scavenger birds.
The learning
When emotions get over you, you lose all the noble characters in you. Achilles’ fury does not end even after he kills Hector. He cools down only after he feeds Hector’s body to dogs and the birds of prey.
Your anger impacts everyone around you.
Your fits of anger overshadow all your good qualities.
Story 2 - Story of Dhruv (From Hindu mythology)
This is a story of Dhruv, son of Uttanapad. This is a story from Vishnupuran.
King Uttanapada, the son of Manu, had two wives, Suruchi who was very dear to him and Suniti, to whom he was indifferent.
One day, Suniti’s son Dhruv saw Uttama, Suruchi’s son, sitting on the lap of the king, their father. When the king took up Dhruva on his lap, Suruchi severely abused the king and made Dhruv get down from his father’s lap.
This made young Dhruv very sad. Many a time, when you are in dumps you realise your best.
Dhurv, a young six year old lad, leaves the palace with a resolve to find Lord Vishnu and seek his blessings.
On the way he meets sage Narad who teaches him the rituals and mantras to please Lord Vishnu. Narad’s guidance helps him please Lord Vishnu who gives him a place to be from where no one can move him ever. This is the story of the Pole Star, the location given by Lord Vishnu to Dhruv.
The learning
Whenever there is an emotional turmoil, you have to have a belief that this has happened to you for a purpose so that you can realise your true potential.
References
The Iliad and what it can still tell us about war
My learning so far on this topic
Day 9 post - Plutchik wheel of emotions and ways to cope with emotions
Day 19 post - Association of emotions with endocrine system, the Chakras and the Yoga postures
Day 29 post - Learning from an RJ (Radio Jockey)
Day 39 post - Two TED talks - The gift and power of emotional courage & Why we all need to practice emotional first aid
Day 49 post - Two books - The Book of Human Emotions & Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Day 59 post - Two movies - Dumbo (1941) & Inside Out (2015)
What is Coping with emotions?
Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
The basic emotions are
1. joy/ sadness,
2. acceptance/ disgust,
3. fear/ anger,
4. surprise/ anticipation.
The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called feelings.
Emotions are neuro-physiological reactions unleashed by an external or internal stimulus (emotions are physical). Feelings are a self-perception of specific emotions, being a subjective expression of emotions (feelings are mental)
Coping with emotions is -
a. understanding the patterns of emotions,
b. understanding our responses to emotions and
c. taking corrective and preventive actions
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of coping with emotions.
Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of coping with emotions.
Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of coping with emotions
Apply -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did with respect to coping with emotions
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills
- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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