Tool 30/30 - Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach

 

The objectives of this short ten minute exercise -

1. To learn a management tool that will be helpful in work life 
2. To apply the learning

1. To start a great day using this morning ritual

Step 1 - the warm up

Keep your journal and pen at hand

Sit in a relaxed position with an intent to go into a ‘flow state’ to learn something new

Take three deep, powerful breaths to lock in your focus and start the next step

Step 2 - the learning

About Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach

The Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach, developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in the 1980s, focuses on resolving conflicts by addressing the interests of all parties involved rather than positions. It promotes collaboration, empathy, and problem-solving, commonly used in negotiation, mediation, and conflict resolution within business environments

Situations (examples) where this tool can be best used

• Negotiating flexible work arrangements
• Managing a conflict between sales and production teams
• Resolving a budget allocation dispute

The top three mental muscles (competencies) developed by practicing this tool

• Communication skills - IBR emphasizes active listening, asking questions, and clarifying interests to build understanding
• Conflict resolution - IBR helps manage disagreements by focusing on underlying interests and finding mutually beneficial solutions.
• Negotiation skills - IBR's principles and practices enhance negotiation skills, leading to more effective and collaborative agreements

A corporate story to understand the usage of this tool

Bill Gates’ story about Microsoft’s antitrust case

Context - In the early 2000s, Microsoft faced a legal battle with the U.S. government over antitrust violations. Microsoft risked severe penalties that could impact its long-term business strategy

This is how Bill Gates would have used the IBR approach - 

Separate the people from the problem
Initially, Bill Gates and his team viewed regulators as adversaries, but they soon recognized that the real issue was concern over fair competition

Focus on interests, not positions
Rather than insisting that Microsoft was simply a successful company being unfairly targeted, Gates and his team acknowledged the regulators’ concerns about competition and consumer choice. Their goal shifted from winning the case to finding a way to comply with regulations

Generate options for mutual gain
Instead of resisting all demands, Microsoft proposed licensing agreements that allowed competitors better access to its software. 

This created a more open market while preserving Microsoft’s core business model

Build Relationships and Maintain Communication
By engaging in constructive dialogue rather than confrontation, Gates and his team rebuilt trust with regulators. This prevented harsh penalties

The IBR approach transformed the conflict into an opportunity, allowing Microsoft to adapt, maintain industry leadership, and strengthen its long-term relationships with regulators

A story from the World Wars

My personal story

Context

I was posted as a Bank Manager in a village for a few years. I always had to face conflict situations because of pressures from local political powers. Every leader from every village (We had 10 villages under the branch’s command area) would meet me pushing for someone’s case for a loan. They would deploy every trick  to get loans approved. I faced the risk of even physical harm if I did not pay heed.

Could I apply the IBR approach in my role?

Separate the people from the problem - The first thing I had to do was to not get angry or frustrated with the local leaders 

Focus on interests, not positions - I found the true need of the leader. It was the need to enhance their brand as a ‘supporter of his people’ and my bank’s objective was to give loans to deserving people

Generate options for mutual gain - The different options I could think were 1. Get each leader to meet my Regional manager and the District Collector. Sitting with high officials over a cup of tea would be a big ego boost for the leaders 2. Suggest formation of a joint committee to recommend loans from all segments of the villagers from all the ten villages 3. Suggest formation of self-help groups to avail of loans 4. Organise media interviews to showcase how the leaders were working in the service of poor people 5. Organise loan melas so that each political leader could be provided a platform to showcase their contribution 

Build relationships and maintain communication - All the above had opportunity to build relationship with leaders

Step 3 - the reflection

Sit back, go down memory lane, think of various events in your work life where you could have used this learning.

If nothing comes to mind, think of a situation that would help you answer any one of these interview questions.

1. “How do you handle disagreements with your manager?” - Share your story how you use IBR approach
2. “Can you give an example of a time you successfully negotiated a win-win solution?” - Share a story where you found a creative solution that benefited all parties
3. “Tell me about a time you turned a difficult stakeholder relationship into a positive one” - Share something how you built rapport with stakeholders over time

Step 4 - the practice

Apply your learning to the situation you selected above.

• Separate the people from the problem
• Focus on interests, not positions
• Generate options for mutual gain
• Build relationships and maintain communication

Step 5 - the victory lap

Celebrate your achievement for a minute. Maybe a quick victory lap doing some energizing exercise?

**

To those who felt, “Management models and frameworks are nothing but bureaucratic ‘red tape’. Adds layers of approval and complexity without clear value.” - Do you feel that the last ten minutes were worth the effort?

I must tell you that some inspirational companies have institutionalised this tool (Zappos, The Body Shop, Starbucks, Southwest Airlines, Whole Foods Market) 

This exercise is not only about management tools. It’s about building a neural pathway. And it’s about my mantra for creating small daily acts of feeling successful and happy. 

Don’t forget to carry this image 👇 in your mind. There could be a great situation where you may want to use the tool. Keep a log of all such situations. This practice will help you when you want to train someone.

My congratulations for your first dose of the day of success and happiness. Have a great day ahead.