Picture credit - Dumbo - Encyclopaedia Britannica
Day 59 - Coping with emotions
7 June 2020
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sirurp@gmail.com
My learning for the day
Today I want to summarise two movies on the topic of coping with emotions.
Movie 1 - Dumbo (1941)
Disney’s Dumbo is an animated musical based on a children’s book of the same name written by Helen Aberson and illustrated by Harold Pearl.
The Plot
A flock of storks delivers babies to all mother animals in a circus in Florida, except the elephant Mrs. Jumbo.
A lost stork brings her a baby that is adorned with extraordinarily large ears. The young baby is made an object of ridicule by other animals and given the nickname "Dumbo".
Mrs. Jumbo attempts to remain dignified and treats her child with all her maternal love, but when a group of rascals takes to mocking Dumbo, Mrs. Jumbo catches one of them with her trunk and spanks him. The circus ringmaster deems Mrs. Jumbo mad and has her locked in a cage.
The lonely and emotionally hurt Dumbo is made a pariah amongst the rest of the circus troupe.
A small mouse named Timothy consoles Dumbo and vows to make him a star.
One night, he and Timothy inadvertently become intoxicated on champagne, and the next morning Dumbo wakes up on the top of a tree. Timothy realizes that Dumbo’s ears must have allowed him to fly.
This newfound ability, coupled with a boost of self-confidence, allows Dumbo to become a hero in the circus and to reunite with his mother.
The Learning
You make more mistakes and underperform when you lose confidence (In an elephant pyramid act, Dumbo is placed at the top of the pyramid. He trips over his large ears, causing the other elephants to suffer various injuries, and bring down the big top.)
We must not lose hope in ourselves. Our uniqueness always comes out one fine day
When you have soulmates around, it helps you in coping with your miseries
Movie 2 - Inside Out (2015)
The Plot
Riley is born in a small town in Minnesota. Within her mind's Headquarters, five personifications of her basic emotions - Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger - come to life and influence her ways of doing things via a control console.
At the age of 11, Riley moves with her parents to San Francisco for her father's new job. Unknown town, local pizza parlour selling only broccoli toppings, father’s job stress, the cramped and old house etc. makes Sadness take control.
Throughout the movie, we can see how emotions struggle with taking the lead and ultimate control over Riley.
“Inside Out” does a phenomenal job illustrating the emotional conflicts children can go through. The constant battle between joy and sadness.
As in real life, sadness is often misunderstood and disliked. The movie illustrates how other emotions do not see the value sadness has. By the end of the movie joy realizes how important sadness is and how sometimes we need to allow some sadness in order to experience joy.
1. Identify emotions - It is important to teach children how to identify their emotions. Children should understand that ALL emotions are needed and they are equally important. Emotions play an important role as they guide our perceptions of the world
2. Accept emotions and not repress them - Repressed emotions can contribute to mental health conditions, such as stress, anxiety, and depression
3. Express emotions correctly - Emotions are a form of data or information. It is important to accurately convey in a way that the recipient can accurately perceive
4. Regulate emotions - When we confront a provoking stimulus, the amygdala (a brain site that regulates the fight-or-flight responses and also storehouse of memories associated with emotional events) allows us to buy time to decide on fight vs flight. We must consciously make use of this ‘pause’ to design a win-win response (my thought; not supported by research)
My learning so far on this topic
Day 9 post - Plutchik wheel of emotions and ways to cope with emotions
Day 19 post - Association of emotions with endocrine system, the Chakras and the Yoga postures
Day 29 post - Learning from an RJ (Radio Jockey)
Day 39 post - Two TED talks - The gift and power of emotional courage & Why we all need to practice emotional first aid
Day 49 post - Two books - The Book of Human Emotions & Emotional Intelligence 2.0
What is Coping with emotions?
Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
The basic emotions are
1. joy/ sadness,
2. acceptance/ disgust,
3. fear/ anger,
4. surprise/ anticipation.
The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called feelings.
Emotions are neuro-physiological reactions unleashed by an external or internal stimulus (emotions are physical). Feelings are a self-perception of specific emotions, being a subjective expression of emotions (feelings are mental)
Coping with emotions is -
a. understanding the patterns of emotions,
b. understanding our responses to emotions and
c. taking corrective and preventive actions
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of coping with emotions.
Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of coping with emotions.
Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of coping with emotions
Apply -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did with respect to coping with emotions
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills
- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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