Picture credit - mentoryes
Day 29 - Coping with emotions
8 May 2020
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sirurp@gmail.com
What is Coping with emotions?
Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
The basic emotions are
1. joy/ sadness,
2. acceptance/ disgust,
3. fear/ anger,
4. surprise/ anticipation.
The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called feelings.
Coping with emotions is -
a. understanding the patterns of emotions,
b. understanding our responses to emotions and
c. taking corrective and preventive actions
My learning for the day
My learning for the day is from an hour of listening to Rashmi Shetty, an ex RJ and now an Attitudinal Coach. I dedicate this post to my teacher today - Rashmi.
Learning from an RJ
RJ in the studio
RJs (Radio Jockeys) are a great example of ‘coping with emotions’. Their coping is a MAGNIFIED coping.
Let me explain. When they are on air, their minutest emotional variation is heard/ felt by thousands of people listening to them. Imagine how much effort they have to take to cope with their emotions.
Some listeners could say something nasty when they are put on air, someone could be sending rude messages or ask some awkward questions…
All this could trigger umpteen emotions of anger, loathing, disgust, sadness, even fear and sometimes amazement in the RJ’s mind.
It is a HUGE challenge to maintain the same level of emotion, the same volume of voice …. even the same pace of breathing while coping with all these emotions.
At the same time, they need to be aware that they are dealing with the emotions of thousands of listeners - a distraught cab driver, an upset teenager, an anxious mother…….
An amazing job of ‘conducting’ this orchestra of emotions, and at the same time, managing the vagaries of technology - audio console, monitors, mic, level meters, phone talkback system, a cough mute… to name a few.
RJ outside the studio
The RJ has to be at the doors of the studio at the exact second. Imagine the stress of this, if she has to travel by public transport, navigating through traffic jams, get her tasks at home completed on time.
Imagine all the other negative emotions a woman RJ carries from home till the studio door.
So how does the RJ cope up with emotions?
‘Drop the past’ ritual
The RJ’s objective is to make positivity ‘audible’ right from the moment she greets the listeners.
She needs to be ‘in the present’ all the time.
When she reaches the door of the studio, the first thing she does is take a deep breath and with a deliberate effort, drops all that she walked in the studio with. She drops all the emotions that are her ‘past’ and goes into a ‘now’. This is her ritual.
Reaching the studio a tad early
This ritual gives her time to relax and avoid the stress of reaching late.
There is no way the RJ can reach late to the studio. If this is the unbreakable rule, reaching early gives them time for emotional and physical readiness.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of becoming fully aware of the non-judgemental present moment. Here are some techniques to pick from.
Focus on the purpose
Doing an act of affirmation - so that your body, mind and soul are in sync with respect to your purpose.
The purpose of RJ is to be emotionally connected to the unknown, unseen thousands out there, to put a big smile in the voice and to sketch a beautiful memory in listeners’ minds.
She has to perform this affirmation outside of the studio so that she performs well inside the studio.
Do these actions apply to our lives? What do you think?
How to improve your coping skills?
Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of coping with emotions.
Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of emotions management.
Learn - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of coping with emotions
Apply -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did to cope with emotions
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
Share - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
Train - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF defines Life skills as - psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills
- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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